Letting Go

As you read last week, I was surprisingly let go from my job on Tuesday.  I have been very busy since then getting everything situated after my vacation and catching up with people.  Plus, I took a mini-staycation Wednesday through tonight to just relax and get back to DC speed.

A few good things have come out of this so far, mainly yet another way to appreciate my awesome friends and support system.  I received calls and emails from all sorts of people (some of which I haven’t returned yet, and I’m sorry).  It has been so wonderful hearing from all of you and knowing that I am loved!  Thank you so much.

My sister mentioned that this is one of life’s bucket list situations that you can look back on and be grateful for the experience.  I completely agree.  Getting fired isn’t as bad as it sounds.  The actual meeting wasn’t terrible and I lived, so I’m certain I could live through it again if I needed to!  What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger, right?

Of course, I didn’t know what to do when sitting there as they told me about their change to my future.  I took it like a woman with my head held high…not much I could have said to change their mind.  I was happy they waited until after the vacation to tell me so I didn’t freak out about spending money while away.   They told me around 3:15 on 3/15 and I found a weird rhythm to that.

They said I could have the office for the rest of the week to clean out my stuff and that I could leave at that moment if I felt like it.  I wanted to stay for the rest of the day but when I tried to sign the documents and I was shaky all over, I knew I had to go home then.  What else was I supposed to do?

I returned the next afternoon to get my things.  Boy,  I had so much stuff in my office I must have thought I was permanently settled there!  It may take me awhile to get to a point that I feel safe enough to have that much crap at work again.  Anyway, my biggest concern was what to wear to get my stuff?  I couldn’t wear all black because I wasn’t in mourning.  It had to be something somewhat nice but able to move things around.  Ugh, do you see what I mean?

The worst part was the reactions from my colleagues.  Some just didn’t know what to say so they avoided me and avoided any eye contact.  I felt so weird…no one wants to be in this position, the least you can do is make eye contact!  Most people were pretty cool and would tell me they were sorry.  I had some good conversations with the bosses who got a further opportunity to explain themselves.  I would have probably done the same thing to me if I were in their situation so I don’t blame them.  I don’t blame anyone.

Someone mentioned to me not to take it personally.  Funny enough, until that person said it, I hadn’t!  Luckily, I still don’t.  One thing I’ve realized about life outside this blog is that it isn’t about me.  I haven’t cried or moped or whined or complained yet.  It is what it is.  I accept that, and like any good planner, I am looking forward.  I am taking a bit of time to try to envision what that next step looks like.  It certainly is not clear yet, but I know it will work out.  Of this I have absolutely no doubt.  Until now, I have only had situations where I dream of a job, then I go get it.  The tough part this time is dreaming and envisioning what that looks like now.

  1. #1 by Bonnie Belk on March 21, 2011 - 8:14 am

    You’ve written a very thoughtful and mature response, Megan. This is one of those times you feel like the ground itself is shaky under your feet. It’s good to be able to reflect and understand and then be ready to move ahead. Those are your keys to facing the future. The toughest lessons are the ones that do us the most good, and I have no doubt that you will pick up all the pieces and put them together to create a new and more pleasing picture. We love you and we’re here when you need us.

  2. #2 by Piatt on March 21, 2011 - 9:25 am

    Megan, sorry I haven’t responded until now, but my world is crazy and I needed to contemplate what to say to you. Seems like the world in general is in a state of change and your world is following along with it. I know there is a reason and something better is coming soon….to a life near you!
    I thought about you this weekend as I read some of Eat, Pray, Love. I love her writing style….reminds me of your offbeat, fun style.
    Have also been reading You Can Heal your Life by Louise Hay. All about positive affirmations making an impact on your life….check it out, hang in there, keep us posted on the direction your new path is taking! Keep that positive attitude and stay open to the changes ahead!!! Love you! piatt


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