Ex Lessons

It’s 1:39 a.m. and I’m wide awake.  I think I may have overdosed on a medium mocha knowing I was working late tonight, but now that I’m done (aka, I left my stupid memory key at work when I left just before midnight), I can’t sleep.  So, hopefully by getting my brain off medical office building parking, I’m thinking about something completely unrelated…my exes.  Yeah, it was a weird jump for me, too.

Each one of them has given me something that I have kept.  Not material items but impressions that surface at the weirdest times and that surprise me with their usefulness.  Tonight, I’m doing a little catalog of past beaus and the enjoyment and insight they continue to give me years after they’ve left.  In no particular order of dating or preference or feelings…

  • From S I learned about credits and debits of strength of character, and sometimes it’s okay if you have to cash in some credits.  We are only given what we can handle, even if that’s more than other folks get.  It isn’t fair, but it’s what we get.
  • From C I learned about electric cars (well beyond what most other people could probably tolerate) and that age is on the inside.
  • From X I learned about natural peanut butter.  Thank god because I had gone without peanut butter for years after discovering I got severe migraines from the artificial stuff.  This guy had two smelly dogs, man toys (boats, campers, awful pick up trucks) up the yang and the most immature sensibility for a 40 year old man, but I’m so grateful he came into my life to teach me about natural peanut butter.  Bless your heart, whatever your name is and wherever you may be.
  • From M I learned that it isn’t about who you are or your fabulous dating qualifications, but how you make me feel that’s important.  And how I feel in the presence of others, while ultimately up to me, can still be influenced by others more than I give credit.
  • From B I learned how to snowboard and chase three very special people down some sweet long runs.  Those were some of the best times of my life because in keeping up both on and off the mountain, I forgot about fear and learned to just live.
  • From A I learned that I need to communicate.  Period.  It has taken me many years to figure out how to do this, but I’m actively practicing and thus progressing enough to make it to the big leagues one day.  Yay me.
  • From G I learned how to react to something I’ve never seen before.  I’m keeping this one to myself, but I thank G for this valuable lesson, even if I haven’t come across another one since.
  • From C2 I learned that everyone gives and receives love in different ways.  It just takes finding the right person to receive the way you give and give the way you want to receive.  That sounds horribly sexual, but I promise it isn’t!
  • From J I learned that I probably shouldn’t date guys who wear pointy shoes, even if they come bearing flowers.  Probably means he spends more time on his hair than I do.  Oh, and he totally did.
  • From B2 I learned that throwing caution to the wind can get you a high five from your mother for reasons that seem counter intuitive.  And to follow my gut because it leads in some awesome directions.  And still does to this day.
  • From S2 I learned that people I think are hot can also think I’m hot.  Who knew?  I wonder where you are now…
  • From C3 I learned that I hate the sound of a Dalek voice and I love The Doctor, even if I resisted at first.  Ahh, open mindedness.  I still watch and enjoy the show because I want to which surprises even me.  There’s more, but he may actually be reading, so I’ll stop this bullet point now.
  • From X2, I learned that people who don’t think past today really aren’t for me (duh, I’m a planner).  Also, if you talk to your ex on the phone more than me, you’re out (well, if you constantly answer when I’m around, especially if we’re, ahem, enjoying each others company).  So maybe he needed the lesson!  He taught me about World Cup and loaned me his country’s team to cheer for so I could have a real experience.  That was awesome.
  • From C4 I learned to trust my memory.  I knew there was a wedding ring!  Busted.  You were a creep anyway.
  • From S3 I learned that there is someone out there for everyone and that forcing it is wrong for all involved.  He found his true love less than a month after we quit dating, so I’m glad we ended it when we did so he could be happy.  And he is.

Wow, that seems like a lot of people…but most were casual and don’t really deserve the title of “ex”.  I figure I’ve been dating for about 15 years or so and not many of those years were spent with just one person, so mathematically I haven’t gotten around!  I’m just “experienced.”

  1. #1 by dizzymslizzy on July 15, 2010 - 12:12 am

    This are beautiful life lessons and great idea. I admire your honesty and openness.

    Also you dated 2 people with the first name X how uncanny! 😉

  2. #2 by dizzymslizzy on July 15, 2010 - 12:13 am

    These are *

    I apparently still need to keep dating if only to work on simple grammatical errors.

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